i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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