Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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