Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
