you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
