I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
