i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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