Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
