I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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