we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I checked into jail on foursquare
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
third nipple confirmed
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
