Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im holly from the hills drunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
