if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
