I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
