we're blogging at a bar
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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