Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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