I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
