I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
