Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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