sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
