Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you had me at cake vodka
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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