We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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