2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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