apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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