i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
