my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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