Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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