even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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