anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
