I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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