This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
