he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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