Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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