i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
