i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize