Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
