I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
