So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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