hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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