He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
