I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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