girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
