you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
