Betty ford says i'm here all night
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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