We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
