All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
