can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
