That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
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