Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
