SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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