I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
