there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
These tits shall not be calmed
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
